How I know that Larry Craig is lying

They've now released the audio of Larry Craig being interrogated after his arrest. There is one part of his explanation to the arresting officer though that seems to prove that he's completely making up his defense as he goes along. He claimed he wasn't waving his hand at the officer, but rather that he was picking up toilet paper on the floor. He was picking up toilet paper from the floor of a public bathroom?!

Everyone knows that the cardinal rule of using a public bathroom is to avoid unnecessarily touching anything. Flush the toilet with your shoe, pray that the sink has a motion sensor so you don't have to turn on the taps by hand, you know, all of that stuff. I cannot imagine picking up toilet paper off the floor. It's gone, let it go.

If that's the best excuse he has...

Video Tribute to Larry Craig

Enjoy these clips:








Oh wait, he says he's not gay? Okay never mind, here's a woman instead:

Perhaps Larry Craig can help Moleman?

Now the gay-cruising Republican senator Larry Craig is saying he wants to withdraw his plea. Larry Craig isn't gay for anyone, or so he says. But maybe he should stop fighting his sexual orientation, after all, Moleman seemed pretty disappointed here:

You hear that, Senator Craig? No one! Not even Ted Haggard.